Monday, 1 January 2024

Good Morning, 2024

 Happy New Year, readers. Though of course I don't think anyone is reading this quite yet, I should give context to the fact that the promised 'Part Two' of A Quick Trip to France is delayed.

 I forgot :^)

 But I've endeavoured to breathe proper life into this little place, even if it's only for my own edification. I need writing practice. 

 So what I will do is, at some point in the next week or two, finish the post regarding Part Two (it should be a fun read, certainly more "exotic" than the slow-burn of Part One).

 Furthermore, I'll also do some other things in the meantime. I think I'll chronicle some character concepts I've been working up but never get to play. I've got a couple pretty fleshed out already, so it's just a matter of translating it to here.

 Irregardless, whenever you read this, I hope your 2024 started off better than mine

Sunday, 22 October 2023

A Quick Trip To France - Session One: 'Cheeks, Boots and a Buzzsaw'

 So, my first ever GMing session chronicled on this here blog. Lets see if I can keep it legible. 

 This Saturday and the next, the last of my free weekends before my birthday, I am running A Quick Trip to France from the Achtung! Cthulhu quick-start rules set. 

 Frankly, by itself the scenario is lackluster, and only a session long. I extended up to two, adding some elements to thicken it up and give the adventure some more to work with. I shan't spoil what yet, you'll have to keep reading.

  Starring in this scenario are:

  • Mike (My GM) as Cpl. Wallace Ricci, the BAR gunner and veteran 
  • Tyler as Tech 4. Andrew Vogt, platoon medic and concientous objector 
  • Fox as Pfc. Julian Coffman, the strong and silent type with a sharp eye
  • Theo as Pvt. Leonard Kerns, a rural sleuth and potentially unhinged

 

Cpl. Wallace Ricci
Cpl. Wallace Ricci (New Jersey)

    Tech 4. Andrew Vogt (Oregon)

     Pfc. Julian Coffman (Maine)
 
Pvt. Leonard Kerns (Virginia)

 
 They're freshly groomed enlisted men of the 101st Airborne, George Company, being dropped into France as part of a mission to clear the way for US forces at Utah and Omaha beaches to link up for the invasion. George Companies objective is the town of Saint-Sulac, where German forces have set up a stronghold and garrison.

 There is, of course, more to this mission than meets the eye. But that would be telling, wouldn't it? 

 SCENE ONE - THE DROP

 The session begins with some burgeoning banter, with Ricci teasing Vogt for his inherant pacifism, which he takes on the chin. Kerns simply displays eagerness to tear into some Nazis, and Coffman simply sits in silence, probably asleep.

  Cutting through the yakking, Major Baird, an English attache to the platoon, gathers their attention. Nobody knows this guy, besides the fact he's got a flashy beret and pert little moustache. He talks in an accent thick with that classic British hurrah, and lays out the plan to the platoon.

  Their objective is the Chateau, it won't be that easy. First, they must rendevous at a farm, north of the town, before heading through the woodland towards a designated meeting point with one Jean-Michel Descombes, the leader of the French partisans in the region. Once there, they will strike the town and sieze the Chateau, with the assistance of the partisans and their intelligence. 

 Ricci displays outspoken confusion for this abrupt briefing, so close to the drop, but before the Major can retort the aircraft comes under fire. Flak erupts all around, and a nearby plane erupts into three smouldering chunks sailing through the air, spilling its burning passengers into the open air.

  Looks like they're dropping a bit earlier than expected. LT Wernicke, their platoon CO, calls everyone to attention, and is the first to bound free of the plane  Cpl. Ricci is the first PC to make the jump, followed by Pvt. Kerns. Both paratroopers make a textbook drop, managing to spot a decent landing zone in a field below.

 Coffman and Vogt aren't far behind, but something's wrong. Here's a paraphrased quote of mine as I described this alien sensation to them:

Following your comrades to the door, the shadow of the Major beside you, you feel something rise in your chest. Your body goes numb, your ears are pierced with a great wail, and pin-pricks run all over your skin. This isn’t vertigo, this is something else.

 Both of them fails a Will save, Coffman particularly so as this catches him right as he's making his jump. He almost tumbles out of the door, but nonetheless his chute deploys perfectly fine, and much the same can be said for Vogt.

 Whilst Ricci and Kerns land in the same field, swiftly disposing of their chutes and heading for the saftey of the treeline, the other two aren't so lucky. Vogt managed a rough, but ultimately harmless landing in a small clearing beside a pond. Coffman would've done the same, had he not collided with a tree. He took a bit of damage, but nothing serious. 

 Too high up to reach, Vogt has to clamber up into the branches to cut him loose. Coffman is much for lively by now, answering Vogt's concern with unreserved sarcasm. Despite that setback though, Coffman only had some bruises to show for it. 

 Both parties manage to figure out they landed further north of the town than intended, and want to head south to make it to the rendevous. Kerns was fortunate enough to be carrying a map, though everyone has a compass. Before Coffman and Vogt leave though, Vogt spots the ghostly white of a paratroopers 'chute flash above the canopy, tracking it to a neighbouring clearing very close at hand.

   'Flash.' said Vogt, voice low under the din of the flak.

  'Thunder, thunder!' came the hurried voice of a comrade.

 Breaking through the foliage, Vogt and Coffman discover one Private P. Cheek, platoon radioman, wrestling with the webbing of his chute. Cheek wasn't aboard their plane, and so is just as scattered as the rest of them. He lost his radio to the prop blast (backdraft of the plane engine, as I understand it). They take him along as they head south.

  SUB-SCENE 001 - STRAGGLERS

 Ricci and Kerns are trekking through the forest, when they hear noises. Ricci recognises it instantly to be German, and the pair creep up to the edge of three-way fork in the dirt track.

 A parachute is tangled in the tree overhead, and two Wehrmacht troops are standing below it. One of them sits upon a log, whilst the other sifts through the remains of dead paratrooper, torn free of his chute. Ricci and Kerns have the drop on them, with Kerns in particular having adept Stealth skills and the assassination talent. They take a different approach though.

 Both men draw their sidearms, crouched and getting a closer shot. Before Jerry even knows they're there, they burst from the shrubbery and open fire. Ricci brings down the German on the log, incapacitating him and leaving him to thrash about on the ground. Kerns pumps a couple rounds into the second, but doesn't take them down. Said German whips around, firing a burst with his MP40. He only manages a graze on Ricci's arm before Kerns' sidearm punches through his chest, leaving him dead before he hit the ground.

 Ricci shrugs his shoulders, checking on his graze. Meanwhile, Kerns, ever the subtle one, goes to the first German, still struggling on the ground. 

 'Nicht schießen! Erschieß mich nicht!'  they say, holding up a hand as if to repel the oncoming yank. It's no good, and Kerns plants a boot against their neck. 

 Kerns probably didn't expect the speed in which the wounded German withdrew a knife from his hip, and pushed away the boot from his neck. The knife never saw action though, as Kerns' whipped his pistol forward and planted a killing shot, right between the eyes. 

 'You finished?' Ricci said, as casual as if Kerns had just cracked a knuckle. 

 'Nazi fuck,' was all Kerns could say

  Ricci retrieved the paratroopers tags (and his watch), D. McGinley, and they kept to the track, leaving the bodies behind. 

SUB-SCENE 002 - MAJOR MISHAP

 Coffman, Vogt and Cheek picked their way through the wood, when they came upon the startling orange glow of towering fire. A plane had gone down, though Vogt couldn't say for sure whether or not it was theirs, or anothers.  

 The trio move to approach, hoping they might find survivors or scavenge supplies. Instead, they find Major Baird, strung up like a broken puppet in the branches. Vogt, shaken at the sight of all this death even with all his training, simply mutters a short prayer. Cheek spies a radio on the Major's back, and equips it, trying to reach anyone else.

  Vogt loots the Major, taking care to leave his personal effects on his body. What he does find piques more than a few brows; an operational dossier and a map of their own. 


 Much more interesting than the map, however, is the dossier. It's very brief, clearly more of an outline than a proper operational handbook, but its contents befuddle the trio. It brings mention to a group called the SS-PA, which Coffman readily equates to some branch of the SS. No mention of this group was made during any briefing, nor is the target: 'Sturmbannfuhrer Schabbs.' 

 


 Coffman and Vogt chalk it up as something to question their superiors with, if they find any, and go to keep moving.

 SCENE TWO - ITALIAN DIPLOMACY

Ricci and Kerns hear voices ahead of the trail, and call out the challenge.

At the same time, Coffman, Vogt and Cheek hear a hushed call from the dark: 'Flash!'

'Thunder,' Vogt answered, as Coffman and Cheek lowered their Garands.

 Ricci and Kerns broke through the shrubbery, greeting their comrades with warm smiles. Vogt questions the blood splatter over Kerns' boots, and Kerns simply let out a belated remark at the poor victim's expense. Probably deserved it though. 

 Now regrouped, and caught up to speed with eachothers events, the 5-man band kept on their course down south. Coming across a field, from their position at the treeline they spotted the lances of Nazi spotlights ahead, weaving through the sky. Saint-Sulac was close at hand. Corporal Ricci, most senior amongst them and organising their formation, decided to take the safer, covered path through the woods rather than risk open country in their final stretch towards the rendevous point. He remarked that there were probably mines in the field anyway.

 Maybe.

 Irregardless, they emerged unmolested from the forest at last, to the sight of a French farmstead at the top of the a slope, past which lay the road to Saint-Sulac. To their bemusement, a sole farmer was still at work, herding his cows back into their pasture, and they were clearly spooked little bovines. 

 Ricci called out to them, and waved a grey-shirt he'd plucked from somewhere as a flag. The Frenchman was very confused, and they started a startling long back-and-forth across both sides of the field seperating them. It wasn't till after a good couple minutes that Coffman was able to decipher what the farmer was trying to tell them: 'the German's are gone, come over here quickly.'

 And so they did. Ricci and Kerns up front, Vogt in the middle, Coffman and Cheek in the rear.

 They beat feet across the knee-high grass, making it up the farmers fence in good time. Once their Ricci decided he was the best man to try conversing with the French farmer. He was not. Turns out Ricci makes a rather boorish ambassador, like the Jeremy Clarkson of New Jersey. Luckily, Coffman was able to intervene before things got out of hand, and the farmer was able to clear things up.

 This was their rendevous, and the farmer was hesitant to allow the American's close. Turns out, not too long ago, 4 paratroopers had made it to the farm before them. A German convoy rolled past shortly after, and captured the paratroopers. The farmer 'Monsieur Duvall', reckons the Germans took them to a remote barn out to the west of Saint-Sulac; the exact same location marked JEAN-MICHEL on their map.

 With Cheek still unable to raise anyone on the radio, the group decided to come up with a plan. Whilst Ricci threw around the idea of disgusing the party as French civilians, nobody else was game to risk going through the town directly. Instead, Kerns suggested they cut through the woods west of them, to cover as much shrouded ground as they could before greeting open country. Vogt was eager to rescue the paratroopers, and Ricci and Coffman were more than happy to go ahead with it. Cheek, being an NPC, simply went along with it.

 So they set off, Vogt giving sincere thanks to Monsieur Duvall. They made swift tracks, and disappeared once again into the woodland.

 SUB-SCENE 003 - UNDERWAY

 Same formation as before, the squad set off south-west. By the time they'd left Duvall's farm, it was 0230AM: 3 and a half hours until the invasion was supposed to begin. Regardless, this calm before the storm got the men talking amongst themselves. Vogt made small talk with Cheek, learning the Private was a railway worker in Manhattan before he enlisted. Ricci offered a brief look into his time in Africa, and Kerns happily reminisced on a tour of Africa he'd had prior to the war; certainly a rarity for a Virginia boy. Coffman had said little about himself the whole time, though they did discover he'd used to be a school teacher. Don't know what he tought though.

 Eventually, the woods gave way to open country. Briefly, the squad discussed their next move; the barn was in sight, and lit up from within. There were figures nearby, but they couldn't be indentified at this range for lack of binoculars, or a scope. Kerns volunteered to scout ahead, the most qualified of the group for that sort of work.  

 It was an uphill crawl most of the way, but before long Kerns lay at the edge of the barn's haystacks. German troops occupied the structure, the main entrance on the eastern side cupped by a sandbag berm, with three Wehrmacht troops huddled behind it. One of them packed an MG-42, peering over the brim. Ontop of that, the centre of the northern side of the loft (the side facing Kerns) bore an open hayhood, where a Wehrmacht rifleman sat upon some stacks of grain. 

 Kerns was about to leave, when he spotted an American soldier being herded into the main entrance by the Wehrmacht. So, the farmer was right.

 Kerns made it back in good time, and relayed what he'd seen to the squad. Nobody was deterred, they would take that barn and rescue those boys. There was no question about it, even Cheek was up for it. 

 And so, the climax of part one begins.

 SCENE THREE - BEATING A DEAD HORSE

 Together, the squad crept up to the same edge of the field that Kerns had marked. The three Germans by the MG remained, as did the guard at the hayhood, smoking a cigarette.

 Ricci outlyed his plan: using a ladder he had spied resting on the ground ahead of them, beside the northern wall, he would use it to scale up to the barns roof. Once there, he would crawl along until he was perched right above the MG's position, right on the north-eastern corner of the barn. Then, he'd plug those krauts full of lead, leaving the rest of the squad to finish off the stragglers and storm the barn.

 Cheek said it was insane, and Ricci said thats exactly why it would work. 

 Removing his heavier gear and equipment, Ricci travelled light. With the rest of the squad stacked up on a haystack, aimed squarely at the MG-42 and it's handlers, Ricci crept from cover to cover. With careful timing and practiced agility, he kept out of sight of the sentry up at the hayhood. Before long he was there, clambering up the ladder like the monkeyman he'd previously claimed to be. Needless to say Cheek was amazed.

 However, as Ricci crawled across the roof, the noise from within clouding his movement, the squad on the ground spotted something. Replacing the sentry at the hayhood, was a much more spectacular looking soldier. Clad in the crisp uniform of the SS, sporting a gleaming black helm and a surprisingly fetching gas-mask, this soldier took up the position as watchman, scanning the field with his Gewehr 43. 

 Ricci was unaware of this, however, even as he made it to the corner of the roof. Unabated, the squad gave him the nod, and it began.

 Going to one knee, Ricci released a mighty salvo from his BAR. Below him, the three Wehrmacht soldiers were caught completely off-guard, the two men not manning the MG dropping their weapons in shock. Each were wounded in his salvo, but none killed, more suppressed than anything. 

 Of all people, Cheek was the first to claim a kill when he put a round right through the side of the MG gunners head. Kerns and Coffman opened up on the rifleman beside him, bringing him down in a hail of bullets. The last of the three, a Sergeant, ducked below the height of the sandbags and fired wildly up at the rooftop, driving Ricci behind the ledge.

 'ALARM!' cried the sergeant, and the Germans were up in arms.

 Things get a bit messy, what with all combat, so bear with me. 

 From the hayhood, the SS-PA soldier opened fire on the squad on the ground. Nothing connected.

 From the western side, opposite where the MG-42 position had once been, a sole Wehrmacht rifleman emerged, scanning the field. And from the east, another guard rushed out, taking cover behind the outflung barn door. The sergeant, still reeling from his wound, recovered his weapon and fired over the sandbags. 

 Coffman had none of it. He charged the position, alone. Kerns supported his move, splattering the Wehrmacht sergeant with a well aimed volley.

 Meanwhile, Cheek had broken from cover as well, heading along the haystacks towards the east, hoping to meet the Wehrmacht rifleman further ahead. Vogt followed after Coffman, once the Wehrmact sergeant was neutralised. His rifle wasn't even loaded, the quaker.

 Ricci had backtracked to the overhang, above the hayhood. He'd intended to swing in, knife in hand, and tackle the SS-PA trooper. Sadly, he'd made too much noise on the way there; the trooper heard him coming and warded him off with a couple shots through the roof.

 Now, back to the German's turn, they got some of their own back. The SS-PA trooper landed a solid shot on Cheek, catching him the hip and twisting him around mid-stride, causing him to land with his back against the haystack he was just heading for. Complimenting this, the Wehrmacht rifleman on the western flank Cheek had tried to intercept went to ground, going prone behind the corpse of a recently killed horse, just about 30 meters from where Cheek had ended up.

 The rifleman who had exited the eastern door, where Coffman had taken up beside, tried a snap shot. Fortunately for the rifleman, his shot was true, and hit Coffman for a decent bit of damage.

 Coffman retalited with a very, very good burst semi-auto Garand fire. Chunks flew away from the barn door, piercing the riflemans fragile body on the other side. Only 1 HP remaining, the German slumped against the door, choking on his own blood.

 Erstwhile, Kerns broke cover to open up again on the hayhood position. This time scoring a glancing blow on the SS-PA trooper, suppressing him into cover. Now covered by Kerns' Thompson, Vogt sprinted across the field to where Cheek had fallen. 

 Ricci tried his trick again, and this time it worked. Monkeyman indeed. However, his knife didn't quite find as much success as the trooper deflected his stab with the flat of his Gewehr.

 Cheek, not quite settled into his position, was exposed to the rifleman by the dead horse (henceforth known as 'Hengst'). As such, Hengst was able to land a crack shot that burst right through Cheek's stomach. The poor guy was out of HP, and on the cusp of death.

 Worse still, the SS-PA trooper (let's call him 'Pflüger') had levelled his rifle to bear. A solid shot went right through Ricci's arm, causing him to drop his knife. The previous sentry was returning, but Pflüger blocked his shot at Ricci.

 To Coffman's cool ambivalence, three Wehrmacht troops appeared at the eastern entrance. One of them began to drag the wounded rifleman from the previous round back inside. No shots could be made against Coffman from behind their barn door.

 Kerns struck first at the next player round, firing up at Hengst as she took up position beside Vogt and Cheek. No shots landed, his aim going high. 

 Vogt pulled off a miraculous roll, or rather feat of medical skill, and actually managed to stablise the rapidly weakening Pvt. Cheek. Guess all those years of training paid off.

 Coffman vaulted the sandbags, and tossed a grenade taken from the fallen krauts once occupying the position. It detonated right in the lap of the mortally wounded rifleman from earlier, turning him into ribbons of gore that coated the other three, fresher troops.

 Things didn't go so well for Ricci though. Attempting to brawl Pflüger, propelling him out the hayhood and down to the ground floor outside, instead he failed his roll quite drastically. And Plfüger rolled more than well enough to turn it around on him, snaring the big-nosed Italian with his rifle and tossing him over the edge, landing with a crack. By now, Ricci was pretty banged up, and presently prone in the mud.

 The German's next turn passed uneventfully. Pflüger and the returning sentry beside him opened up on Vogt, Kerns and Cheek. Pflüger's shot pinged harmlessly off of Vogt's helmet, whilst the sentry only managed a graze on Kerns. Rifleman Hengst managed less than even that, the three Germans on the other side of the open door from Coffman were still stunned by the grenade, and did nothing.

 On the players turn, Coffman took the time to remove the MG 42 from his position, and raised it to bear at the side of the door, where the Germans would emerge.

 Kerns fired up at the hayhood, suppressing Pflüger with a solid couple bursts. Though hardly covered, what with the sentry and rifleman Hengst still at large, Vogt remained in his position, ensuring Cheek would live. 

 Ricci stood up, and staggered along the barn's wall westward towards Coffman. He was unarmed, and unarmoured after disrobing most of his gear for the sneak attack. 

 On the German's turn, rifleman Hengst took most undesirable advantage of the exposed Ricci, and put a round right through his lung. Ricci dropped like a rock, slack against the barn wall. He was alive, but not for long.

 The sentry beside Pflüger let loose a round, missing entirely. Then, the trio of German's that Coffman were waiting on finally made it. Though one still hid behind the door, the first two were caught dead to rights at the end of an MG 42. The foremost one tried to turn, but it was too late. Coffman's buzzsaw rent them apart, turning the two men into red paste. It was point blank mate, no chance at human life there.

 And then it was the players turn. Vogt darted straight to Ricci, uncaring for his own safety. Nevertheless, Kerns tried to provide cover, firing at rifleman Hengst and his dead horse. A weak hit was scored. 

 Coffman rounded the door, levelling his pistol having the discarded the hefty machine gun. The last of the three Germans was staggering away, dragging a sharpnel-ruined leg behind him. Coffman pumped him thrice, and dropped him stone dead. Coffman and Kerns were racking up quite the kill count by now (Vogt and Ricci haven't killed anyone, Cheek has beaten them with only one confirmed kill).

 For the German turn, Pflüger retreated out of sight from the hayhood. The sentry remained however, trying to take down Kerns but failing miserably. At least Hengst managed a glancing hit, skinning the back of Kerns' hand.

 It wasn't looking for either side by now, but Coffman wasn't going to just give up now. He waltzed right into the barn, and discovered at last what had happened to the four paratroopers. To his right, two paratroopers and two civilians were lined up in the corner, and a lone Wehrmacht Lieutenant was holding their CO, Lt. Wernicke, hostage. Looks like the fourth paratrooper had been executed, and dumped in a neighbouring stall.

 Coffman didn't hesitate, however, firing three rounds into Plfüger, who had dropped into the centre of the barn from above. Plfüger dropped, but not quite dead, and crawled for the sanctuary of a cart, away from Coffman.

 Kerns had had enough of the sentry's bullshit, and fired. In one amazingly clean spray, the sentry was littered with brass and fell headlong out of the hayhood into mud, where Ricci had landed not minutes ago. And speaking of, Vogt had some-fucking-how managed an even juicier medical miracle, stablising the once-thought-done-for Ricci like he was turning a page.

 By now, combat was more or less over, so I'll go lighter.

 Kerns and Hengst exchanged some rounds, and neither got hit. Hengst passed a Will save, where he considered surrender, and kept up his impeccable resolve. That lasted less than a minute, as Kerns stood up and finally got a good angle on him: Hengst was riddled with bullets and pressed into the mud: dead at last.

 Meanwhile, inside the barn, Coffman had quite a dilemma. Cool as a feather though, he tried to play if off: the officer was holding fire, and Coffman managed to drop his guard as he attempted to negotiate the German's surrender. That was all the prisoners needed, and one of the plain-clothed Frenchmen leap and caught the German officer around the neck. Lt. Wernicke got free, and plucked the Luger from the ground where it had fallen. In moments, the officer was comatose on the floor.

 They had one, with no deaths to the players side. Barely. 

  WRAP UP   

 Kerns and Vogt hauled Ricci and Cheek into the barn, where both rested against the wall. Following this, Kerns remained very in-character as he approached the fallen Pflüger. He was still alive, barely, limply tugging at the closest wheel of the cart in a feeble attempt to pull himself up. Kerns took this opportunity to make a new recipe, allow me to share it with you.

 Plfüger Juice

- Step One: Stomp

 Beautiful stuff really.

 Meanwhile, Coffman brought out the prisoners. Besides the Lt, it turned out that one of the two Frenchmen was Jean-Michel himself. The other was one Victor Dupuy, whom had brought down the German officer. Two more familiar faces, Pvt. O Dove and Pfc. I Iverson, turned out to be the two remaining paratroopers. 

 Private First Class Iverson, remember that name.

 Lt. Wernicke gave his sincere congrats, as did Jean-Michel. There wasn't much time for a party though, as even following his brush with German hospitality Lt. Wernicke wasn't willing to let the mission go to pot. 

 So, to that, he called the boys in for a debriefing, to organise their strategy. That was half the night gone, now that just had to figure out how to wipe out a town with the time they had left.

 And that's all the time me and you have, reader.

 CONCLUSION

 Not a bad start to the game I thought I'd hate, being a 1d100 veteran. It took a bit of getting used to, and I definitely fumbled a couple times, but I think everyone genuinely enjoyed themselves. We are losing Mike, and thus Ricci, for next session, though in fairness Ricci was plenty fucked already. He may live, though hes more use as a sieve than as a BAR gunner right about now. 

 Private Cheek was a welcome inclusion, and one made up from player agency at that. Had Vogt/Tyler not taken the initative to seek out a comrade in that manner, they may have been down a man. And Ricci/Mike's strategy, climbing the roof and showering the MG position in automatic rifle fire? Well, it's a very Mike idea.

 Hadn't expected Kerns/Theo to be so ruthless, but then who doesn't like killing Nat-zees. Coffman/Fox, the only one of us who'd actually played A!C before, was very much like his character. Quiet, but nonetheless a very great help in keeping the game going.

 Everyone did their part very well, and I look forward to the game next week.

 I haven't counted who got more kills between Kerns and Coffman, though Coffman definitely has points for flourish. 

 See you in Session Two, crackers.

 

 


Friday, 13 October 2023

The Christening of Rats, Rifles and Rapiers

Shite name, I know.

But its here now, so deal with it. I always fancied a blog, so I figured why not start one? 

Perhaps I'll make a more substantial post tomorrow, but for now its currently 00:27 in the morning and Thomas is sleeping between my monitor and my keyboard. So, goodnight.

Good Morning, 2024

 Happy New Year, readers. Though of course I don't think anyone is reading this quite yet, I should give context to the fact that the pr...